We’re in an age where technology is undeniably transforming the way we seek out information — from using AI to find nearby restaurant recommendations to scrolling through TikTok for outfit inspiration.
Now, another surprising trend has emerged, with approximately 9.9 percent of Aussie adults, or around 1.9 million people, turning to ChatGPT for their health-related questions.
The days of Doctor Google might soon be behind us, but is asking ChatGPT about health, sex, and pleasure going to give you the answers you’re really after?
“It’s important that anyone with questions about sex and pleasure can receive answers from trusted sources,” said Verena Singmann, spokesman for We-Vibe, a leading global brand in couple’s sexual pleasure.
“Technology can be a helpful tool when it comes to sex and pleasure, but AI doesn’t always know best when it comes to our sexual health and wellbeing.
“We also need to be mindful of cultural bias, as AI cannot always differentiate between common beliefs and personal advice.”
To deliver reliable, evidence-based information that people can trust to help them with their relationships, two leading sex experts have shared insights on some of the most frequently asked sex-related questions on ChatGPT.
‘How can I improve my sex life?’
According to Alice Child, a sex and relationship expert for Womanizer, the first step is to get educated.
“Good lovers are made, not born,” she insists.
“Go out and learn as much as you can about sex, pleasure, communication, and bodies. Find the resources that work for you, whether that’s podcasts, books, online courses, workshops, or consulting a couples counsellor or sexologist.
“Surround yourself with expert-led, sex-positive, body-positive, up-to-date education, and challenge your own assumptions and beliefs that might be holding you back. Porn is not a substitute for sex education!”
Then, she advises people to engage in sex and solo play with variety.
“Good sex is different for everyone, so learn what you like on your own first through self-pleasure, sex toys, fantasy, and self-discovery,” she says.
‘What are the best ways to enhance sexual pleasure for myself and my partner?’
Cam Fraser, a sex and relationship expert for We-Vibe, says that the answer to this question lies more in presence, connection, and deepening your awareness of sensation, rather than merely striving for climax.
“Some things you can experiment with include slowing your breathing and focusing on touch, and discovering parts of your body beyond just the genitalia that feel pleasurable to touch,” he explains. “Then try this with a partner.”
“For instance, shift the emphasis from trying to achieve an orgasm to fully experiencing the moment together. Explore their body, maintain eye contact, breathe together, and approach with curiosity.”
‘How do I communicate my desires and boundaries in the bedroom?’
“I always recommend starting the conversation about desires and boundaries outside the bedroom,” Fraser notes.
“This can help normalise discussions about sex and pleasure without any pressure or expectations. Have conversations about what excites you, what you’re curious about, and what feels good while you’re having breakfast or going for a walk together.”
He suggests keeping the conversation positively framed and focused on pleasure instead of saying things like, “I don’t like the sex we’re having.”
How can I last longer during sex?
According to Fraser, there are three main ways to last longer during sex.
First, alleviate the physical tightness you experience during intimacy by slowing down, relaxing your muscles, breathing deeply, and focusing on other parts of your body that feel pleasure.
Second, alleviate the psychological anxiety associated with sex by not worrying about whether you climax quickly and instead approaching intimacy in a fun, playful manner, regardless of how it appears.
Lastly, alleviate relational tension by exploring pleasure with your partner in ways that don’t involve genital stimulation, prioritising pleasure and connection over merely lasting longer.
“As I tell my clients who struggle with this, if you’re experiencing bad sex for 30 seconds, and you merely learn to last longer, you’ll just end up having bad sex for three minutes,” he adds.
What are the best ways to increase libido naturally?
“When it comes to naturally boosting your libido, think about times in your life when you felt most confident, authentic, and happy,” Child says, “and reflect on what was happening during those times.”
“Consider lifestyle factors (e.g., where you live, what you do, the company you keep, how you move your body and exercise, your diet), mental and emotional aspects (e.g., mental health, self-confidence, body image, and how fulfilled you feel), and physical factors (e.g., physical health, sleep, and medication).
“Also, take some time to remember moments when you enjoyed sex and felt aroused, and jot down what excites you.
From there, she says to think about starting a daily pleasure practice to reconnect with your body and your sexual triggers.
“This could involve using a new toy to make the experience even more thrilling.”
What are the most common turn-ons and turn-offs for men and women?
“There are plenty of different fantasies and desires,” Fraser assures.
But he finds from conversations with many of his clients that most people are turned on by confidence, presence, and genuine connection, while they are turned off by feeling rushed, sensing hesitation, or experiencing a lack of enthusiasm.
If you’re curious about what turns your partner on or off, he suggests asking them and finding ways to explore those feelings together with curiosity, openness, and playfulness.
Is my sexual preference or fantasy normal?
Human sexuality is broad and diverse, and there is no such thing as ‘normal’, says Child.
“Many people worry about this, but the truth is that human eroticism is broad and complex, and your fantasy or kink is much more common than you think.
“If you’re sharing your sexual preference or fantasy with a partner and it’s between enthusiastically consenting and fully informed adults, and it isn’t negatively affecting your life, mental and physical health, safety, or your relationships in any way, then there’s no harm done.”
