DEAR ABBY: I’m a Christian. I’ve raised my family to be Christians, and they have raised theirs to be Christians, even though we may not all be members of the same denomination.
One of my grandsons believes that his denomination is the only one and the rest of us are all sinners. He and his wife have decided that no one outside of his church can see his child. It’s his decision, his choice, but I’m heartbroken and, of course, angry. I’m afraid my great-grandchild will grow up never knowing his great-grandparents or his grandparents. I believe that I will never know him.
I told my grandson I understand that this is his family and, therefore, his choice. He knows I’m heartbroken. Since they won’t be coming to family gatherings, how should I handle gifts in the future? Should I acknowledge the baby and send a gift in the mail? I pray that someday soon my grandson realizes that we love him and his family. — PRINCIPLED IN FLORIDA
DEAR PRINCIPLED: I always thought Christianity was a welcoming religion. This is the first time I have heard of a denomination that decides other Christians are not Christian enough. The church your grandson has joined sounds more like a cult than a religion. Before making any decisions about how, what or whether to gift anything to the new baby, ask your grandson whether accepting a gift from an “outsider” is even allowed.
DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of 40 years, “Dorothy,” came to visit me for my birthday. She has visited numerous times over the years, and this was her third trip to my current home. As we were walking into the garage to take my car for a drive, she slipped off a small step and fell, injuring her shoulder and foot. Six months later, she still wasn’t healing and said she would file a claim against my insurance to cover some of her expenses (her medical was covered, but she needed more in-home care and had to board her dog for many months).
My insurance company has been diligent about investigating the incident and decided I had no liability as a homeowner. They determined that Dorothy’s physical condition (diabetes, neuropathy in her feet, obesity) was more likely the cause of her fall and slow recovery. They recommended I have no contact with Dorothy, so we haven’t spoken in eight months. When she learns of the insurance company’s decision, I suspect she may sue me next.
I truly don’t feel I am at fault. The area was clearly lit, there was no clutter or other impediments, and she had been up and down that step many times. I’m sorry to lose a treasured, decades-long friendship, but here we are. Am I wrong? — INNOCENT IN THE WEST
DEAR INNOCENT: You are wrong to end a 40-year friendship because some employee at an insurance company told you not to speak to Dorothy eight months ago. What you should have done then was tell your friend to contact her insurance company so the two companies can thresh out in court who is responsible for what and to what degree. It may not be too late to revive the friendship if you give her a call now.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
