Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein — the no-nonsense hosts of hit podcast series “Excuse My Grandma” — are The Post’s brand-new advice columnists.
From family feuds to friendship fallouts, money, marriage and sex, there’s no topic too taboo to tackle, and the native New Yorkers will hash out each issue from their differing perspectives to tell the tough-love truth — and you’ll thank them for it.
To get your questions answered, head to nypost.com/ema and drop them a note about what you need sorted.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
My friend’s boyfriend started out just being nice, but now it’s crossed into uncomfortable territory — comments on how good I look, and he regularly likes my Instagram thirst traps. Do I tell my friend and risk blowing things up, confront him directly, or stay quiet and hope this doesn’t spiral into something worse?
Grandma Gail: This is bad. Tricky tricky tricky tricky. Well, if it was me in this situation, I would say something to the gentleman. Okay. Say, you know what, I know you’re just flirting a little bit, we’re having a good time. But please, it’s making me feel uncomfortable.
I think you have to be honest in this kind of situation. Don’t do it in front of a whole crowd. Pull him over when he’s buying you a drink. You could actually say, you know, this is a bit much.
Kim: Her allegiance is to her friend, not to this guy. So why does why does she care about talking to this guy? Why doesn’t she just go to her friend and be like, “This guy is being weird?”
Grandma Gail: Well, because I think the friend thinks she’s in a relationship.
Kim: Yeah, and she very well might be.
Grandma Gail: This could be just his touchy feely kind of personality, but it’s making you uncomfortable. So I think you have to somehow say to him, “You know what? I know it’s all in good fun. I know you don’t mean anything by it, but just lay off some of the flirting.”
Kim: Yeah, it could be really awkward, though, because then he could go to his girlfriend and say, oh, your friend was being this way.
Grandma Gail: Well, if she does, then you you say to your friend, you know, I’m uncomfortable with it, so I just wanted to do it before I went any further.
Kim: Right.
Grandma Gail: So I think you have a perfect reason to answer her truthfully and say, he’s putting me in an uncomfortable position. I didn’t want to. I’m not tattling to you. I’ve said it directly.
Kim: And I kind of think that it’s right to say it at this point where he hasn’t really gone too far it seems. Like, he’s just being a little overly friendly and a little to uncomfortable, I suppose. Don’t wait for him to actually make a move or come on to you in any way. As you’re saying, it could totally be his personality. He’s just like a friendly, flirty guy. It could be.
Grandma Gail: But if it’s making you uncomfortable, you needs to pull him aside, say what you feel and then see take it to your friend if you aren’t happy with his answers.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
I’m going through a messy divorce and my husband won’t sign the papers. It’s been dragging on. I’m ready to move on. And the emotional toll is exhausting. What do I do?
Grandma Gail: I feel sorry for her. It’s a difficult thing. The lawyers are involved now, and you have to almost chill out. There’s nothing you can do. Wait for the final bickering to be over and sign the papers as quickly as possible. And if there’s not that much to argue about, give in a little. I mean, unless they are really big issues. You know, get out of it. It sounds toxic.
Kim: It’s better for your well-being, even if you’re losing on that one, thing. You might be fighting for a car or whatever, but give up the car because you can move on quicker.
Grandma Gail: It does take patience.
Kim: From watching a lot of housewives…
Grandma Gail: Oh gosh.
Kim: I know the divorce process, and a lot of them say it’s hard to mentally move on until the divorce papers are signed and done and delivered. That said, I think if you can move on with your life as much as you can, like even if it’s not going on dates with someone new, and it’s just setting up what your new life will look like, whether or not you have the papers done now or in three years from now. Hopefully, it’s not that. Then, like the sooner the better to start moving on with your life.
Grandma Gail: Now you can become a lawyer.
Kim: And thanks Kyle Richards and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for that information.
