DEAR ABBY: Recently, my neighbor, who has always been eccentric, has embarked on an unusual gardening project. Instead of traditional plants, he’s turned his backyard into a sprawling sanctuary for rescued wild animals.
At first, it seemed harmless, but the situation has escalated. His yard now attracts wildlife, including raccoons, skunks and even the occasional coyote.
While I appreciate his intent, I’m worried about safety — especially for my two small children and our dog, who are terrified when they encounter these creatures.
If that isn’t enough, my beloved pet cat has developed strange behaviors. She’s been staring intently at the wall, as if she senses something I can’t see.
This may seem silly, but it unsettles me, especially since I’ve read articles about pets reacting to shifts in their environment.
My mother says I’m overreacting to the neighbor’s project and should just let things be, which only deepens my anxiety.
Should I confront my neighbor about the animal situation, or let it go? Am I overreacting about my cat’s behavior?
I worry that others will think I’m losing my grip on reality. How can I find a balance between addressing these concerns and maintaining peace in my neighborhood and family? — OVERWHELMED IN OHIO
DEAR OVERWHELMED: Your mother may think you are overreacting, but how do the other neighbors feel about this? Are they troubled as well? Is what this neighbor is doing legal in your community?
In some communities, there are ordinances against feeding wild animals, let alone “collecting” them.
Go online and start doing some research. If your increased level of anxiety persists, ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health professional to help you deal with it.
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my girlfriend, “Ivy,” for eight years. We see each other mainly on the weekends, as she lives and works out of town.
She says she is tied down to her house and daughter and can’t move here, even though she works only three days a week.
A few years ago, Ivy’s ex-husband moved back in with her as he transferred jobs. She knows I’m not happy about it and that I want her to spend more time with me, but she says she needs to coddle her daughter and take care of the dog.
She rarely initiates anything, and I’m tired of being the one to do the extra things for our relationship.
I want to break up and move on, but she has ingratiated herself with my family, and this would make it difficult. She knows all my issues with her, but she either can’t or won’t make the change. — WEEKENDS-ONLY IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WEEKENDS-ONLY: You stated that the ex-husband moved back in with your girlfriend a few years ago!?
They have reconciled! Ivy has shown you where her priorities lie, and you are not high on that list.
By all means, move on, and tell your family why. It will be up to them to decide whether they want to maintain a relationship with her once they see the entire picture.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
