Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg have really committed to PDA, and their version leans heavily on private displays of affection, too.
“We like to sneak off at parties,” admits McCarthy, 52, in the latest Us Weekly cover story. “If someone has a Christmas party, we’re going to find the basement bathroom, take advantage of the moment.”
Which is not to say they’re neglecting the public aspect. One of their more memorable makeout sessions took place in a hallway during the 2014 Creative Arts Emmys. “We hear this voice say, ‘Get a room,’” Blue Bloods alum Wahlberg, 55, recalls. “I was like, ‘That sounded like the voice of God.’ It was Morgan Freeman. He walked by and winked at us.”
Getting called out by a legendary actor is a small price to pay for maintaining their obvious chemistry after a decade of marriage. “We work at keeping it hot,” Wahlberg says. The New Kids on the Block member and the Masked Singer judge met in 2012 and wed in 2014; he shares sons Xavier, 31, and Elijah, 23, with first wife Kimberly Fey, and McCarthy is mom to 22-year-old Evan with ex-husband John Asher. She and Wahlberg live with Evan and their five dogs outside Chicago in St. Charles, Illinois, close to McCarthy’s hometown. “Of course we love each other and we’re attracted to each other, but we also give it care,” says Wahlberg. “That’s how you keep [the spark] alive. We don’t take for granted that it’s been 10 years and we don’t have to do that stuff anymore. Keep doing it.”
Having found each other later in life, Wahlberg and McCarthy — now teaming up on the ID true-crime special Very Scary Lovers (February 2, 10 p.m., after the 9 p.m. finale of Wahlberg’s Very Scary People) — are determined to get it right this time around. To that end, they take a proactive approach to every aspect of their relationship, from sexy date nights to therapy to affectionate gestures. “We’ve both been through stuff in our past relationships and have had to work hard to navigate that in a healthy way,” says Wahlberg, adding, “From the moment we said ‘I do’ to forever, everything has been about making our marriage the best it can be.”
Read on for more words of wisdom — as told exclusively to Us — from the so-in-love pair.
You celebrated your 10th wedding anniversary last August. Do you feel like you have marriage figured out?
DW I don’t think it took 10 years for us to figure it out. I don’t want to sound like we’re the greatest marriage experts in the world, but we had similar journeys: We’ve both been divorced, and we learned a lot before we met each other. I knew when we started dating there was no turning back. When we decided to get married, we were all in.
JM We’re always learning from each other. Our goal in life is to grow spiritually and get better as human beings, and we’re constantly welcoming the lessons that come our way.
What’s the secret of your success as a couple?
JM We do the work.
DW Prioritizing the marriage. If we put things before the relationship, we have a weak foundation. We went in [saying], “Let’s give it everything we’ve got and make it the center of our lives.”
You’ve both said divorce is not an option…
DW It’s not something that is even remotely possible.
JM It is ’til death do us part. We know that.
Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg are the ultimate marriage goals! The Masked Singer panelist gushed over her marriage with the New Kids on the Block star on the Tuesday, October 1, episode of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, insisting they will never get divorced. A viewer asked McCarthy, 51, about rumors over the […]
What’s something you’ve overcome together?
DW There was a challenging thing early on because of past trauma we’ve had in relationships. One time she was backstage at my concert and she slammed her laptop shut when I walked in the room. I was like, “What is she hiding?” Because of my journey, I immediately thought, “She’s hiding something.” What I didn’t know is that because of her journey, she was afraid I’d yell at her for being on her laptop.
JM I was in a relationship where I had a phone casket at the front door. I was forced to put my phone in and then I could continue into the house and be in the relationship. If I ever snuck it out and he walked in, it was like, “I’m going to get in trouble.” That’s a perfect example of someone projecting their past into their current relationship. I wasn’t conscious of it. We were smart enough to talk it out, and then Donnie had such empathy for me.
DW We were vulnerable enough to share that with each other, and it brought us closer.
JM It was really hard for me in the beginning because I’ve gone through quite the history of hardships in relationships. I’ll put it nicely like that. I had built up such a shield. Being able to take that armor off has been wonderful.
Did you have any reservations about the other when you first got together?
DW I didn’t want to be in a public relationship. And she says a lot on TV, whatever the hell she wants. Jenny [is] very outspoken. The year before I met her, she kissed a cop at midnight on [New Year’s Rockin’ Eve]. By getting over that insecurity and trusting her, I got to know the private Jenny, which is the greatest Jenny of all.
How do you deal with conflict?
DW If something comes up that bothers one of us, we choose peace. That doesn’t mean we don’t work on it and resolve it, but we choose a peaceful path to that. If something ruffles my feathers, I take a look at myself before I say a word to Jen. If I go, “Hey, you hurt my feelings,” I’m not choosing peace. I [have to] look inside and say, “What bothered me about that? Oh, I have a sensitivity to that.” It could be from a past relationship. That gives me a better way into the conversation. It’s not, “You did this to me.” It’s, “I felt something, and I wanted to talk to you about it.”
JM That’s a secret weapon in relationships, and it’s really powerful. It’s about finding the space in between your reaction. You pause, you go inside, question it, and then you have a different reaction — and sometimes no reaction. That’s where true peace comes in. It’s not swallowing what you wanted to say.
DW Peace doesn’t mean ignore reality and don’t communicate. But it doesn’t have to be rooted in conflict, especially with the person you love so much.
Who is usually quicker to apologize when the situation calls for it?
JM It’s equal. Some days I don’t feel like it, so he’ll do it. Even though he might be right.
DW A wise [therapist] once told me, “You’re going to right yourself right out the front door of the relationship if you keep trying to be right.” Even if you don’t know exactly what you did wrong, “I’m sorry” can take the sting out, and it allows the other person space to be vulnerable.
What do you bicker about?
JM You’re going to hate us — there’s nothing.
DW I’m thinking about things I wish I didn’t do. I wish I could stay awake when we’re binge-watching stuff. I doze off.
JM That’s not annoying at all.
DW It annoys me on your behalf! We’re binge-watching Game of Thrones for the sixth time, but I don’t fall asleep anymore because I love it and I’m catching every little thing.
So no pet peeves?!
JM The only one is [something he] can’t control.
DW She’s outing me so bad right now. Get ready.…
JM It’s the snoring. For anyone who’s in perimenopause or menopause, if anything wakes you up, you can’t go back to sleep. So I’ve had to sleep with giant headphones. That’s tough.
DW Almost as tough as me waking up at 3 in the morning to her laughing [while] scrolling on TikTok. She’s not doom-scrolling, she’s laughter-scrolling. I’m in a deep sleep, and I look over and there’s a light beaming from her phone.
JM I have one more!
DW Oh, shoot, we’re opening up…
JM When we’re riding in the car, Donnie plays music so loud that I can’t enjoy the song. I want
to cry and scream. He needs to feel it through each cell.
DW The first thing I did when I made a hundred bucks was buy a car with a boomin’ radio so I could drive around Boston. Then they started hearing me coming, and I was like, “I don’t like this anymore. I’m supposed to be anonymous.”
JM [I know a] pet peeve Donnie has with me. It’s when I say, “Would you take out the garbage?” or “Can you take that picture off the wall?” and then I’ll do it.
DW She only asks when I’m in the middle of something! It’s like, “Oh, the Patriots are playing. Let me ask you to do this now.”
Tell Us more about keeping things spicy.
DW It’s not hard. I wake up and I’m like, “Pinch me. This is crazy.”
JM Me, too. Now that we’ve acquired five little Shih Tzu puppies in our bedroom, we have to get creative. We’ve dedicated little spots in our house that are more romantic. But also, nothing is sexier than respecting each other. When Donnie supports me, that’s the best foreplay ever.
Do you have any rules like no sweatpants or no burping in front of each other?
JM My hair will be frizzy and sticking up, and I’ll be wearing sweatpants with holes from college, and my breath will smell, and he’ll be like, “You’ve never looked more beautiful.” When you reach this level of love and trust, there almost isn’t a physical exterior anymore.
DW Like any couple, we try to get dressed up and go out. At the same time, I just love her. And all the gorgeousness that she walks into a room with is just the cherry on top of the soul.
Jose Perez/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images Jenny McCarthy opened up about getting bullied in high school and how she didn’t want her loved ones to get involved. “I went to an all-girls Catholic school and I really liked hair and makeup. I had my big giant 80s hair, my blonde hair down to my butt, it was permed […]
You once told Us you’d joined the Mile High Club. Any other “clubs” where you’ve gotten busy?
DW Other people’s weddings.
JM There was that time when I was like, “We’ve never done it in a car.” So we drove down the street —
DW — and found a dark shadowy corner.
JM That’s how you keep it fun and spicy.
DW We have limits.
JM We don’t want people to watch us.
What does a typical date night look like?
DW We had delusions of grandeur a few weeks ago: We’re going to go here and we’re going to go there. We made it halfway through dinner [before] we’re like, “Let’s go home.” And we watched The Substance.
JM We’ll usually have fun before we go to dinner, otherwise we’ll be too tired — we’re at that age.
DW Now it’s like, “Let’s get the fun out of the way first, [then] let’s go eat and hope we can make it through one episode of Housewives.”
JM Sadly, that’s where we are!
What are some ways you put the other first?
JM When something good happens in our lives, we can’t wait to tell the other person. The only person I answer my phone for is him. My voicemail literally says, “Hi, why are you calling me?” So when the phone rings, I know it’s him and I’m so excited. We save special events and our deep, dark secrets for each other.
DW When we started dating, I sent her flowers all the time. Why would I stop now? Because there’s the ring on her finger? Shouldn’t I put the same care into it as when I was trying to win her heart? [I should] put even more care into it. We both try to do that.
Did you two ever talk about expanding your family?
JM We’re both on the same wavelength: No more babies.
DW We wish we could have. It seemed like we waited our whole lives for each other. But now we’re a happy blended family. We’ll live through the grandkids.
What adjectives describe your relationship?
JM Definitely sexy, but I’d also say authentic, deep, caring. Emotional. Trustworthy.
DW Fun. Easy.
JM Peaceful.
DW It’s such a sweet ride.
JM It really is.
For more on Wahlberg and McCarthy, watch the exclusive video above and pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly — on newsstands now.
