Mandana Zarghami, 29, spent a “good chunk” of her 20s being celibate.
In fact, she purposely did not sleep with anyone for four consecutive years, the Floridian recently told The Post — and the men of her generation have made her decision fairly easy.
“I don’t really know what the hell has been happening,” the proudly single Miamian said.
Because of that, America is in an unprecedented sex recession — and the Gen Z and millennial women who are partly to blame say they’re fine with it.
Across the country, younger single gals are abstaining from sex like never before — not because they’re saving themselves for marriage for religious reasons, but because they’re fed up with today’s bizarre digital dating world and hookup culture.
Remember the purity pledges co-opted by Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato and more in the early aughts? They’re back as purity pledge 2.0 with support from high-profile celebs like Lenny Kravitz and Khloé Kardashian — and word is spreading.
After experiencing one too many failed situationships — a slang term used to describe an undefined romantic relationship — Zarghami grew tired of the emotionally immature, noncommittal men she kept attracting and knew she needed to make a drastic change in her romantic life.
Celibacy seemed to be the answer.
“As much as you want to blame that other species, you also have to take accountability for why you’re allowing certain people into your life, and why you’re OK with letting people basically walk all over you,” she told The Post of her decision.
To get her romantic life back on track, she committed to taking a solid year of no swiping on dating apps, zero dates — and resisting the urge to even look in a cute guy’s direction.
“The first six months to a year [was] so incredibly hard because I think as humans we thrive on that connection with another person — that intimacy, that emotional vulnerability,” she admitted.
“But then one year turned to two, which turned into three, which turned into four years. I made that promise to myself: until I’m in a committed relationship, I want to be celibate,” said Zarghami.
After breaking her four-year streak last year, with someone who ultimately wasn’t worth it, the 29-year-old is keeping that promise to herself as she’s back on the no sex bandwagon.
Zarghami is just one of many women in her age group who are openly discussing their celibacy journey — and encouraging others to do the same.
Statistically, the number of US adults partaking in hanky panky has drastically declined since the turn of the millennium — that’s a lengthy dry spell, America — and numbers have only continued to drop in the years since, according Institute for Family Studies (IFS), which published an analysis of the study.
From 2010 to 2024, the percentage of youngsters ages 18 to 29 who admitted to not having sex doubled from 12% to 24%, according to the General Social Survey.
And to make matters even more shocking, sexlessness for young adult females has risen by roughly 50%, according to IFS — and these strong-willed women are just adding to that already increasing number.
Kayla Caputo, a 29-year-old New Jersey resident, is one of them.
“I feel like hookup culture has ruined dating because it almost feels like that’s the end goal. It’s like people are so trained now to just ask you to come home with them — it’s so bizarre,” she admitted to The Post.
Caputo has been abstinent from sex for a few months — although she’s gone on several celibate journeys in the past.
For her, she feels that sleeping with someone you are newly seeing “clouds your judgment on how you really feel about the person.”
While these single women might not be entering a bedroom with a guy anytime soon, that isn’t to say they aren’t actively dating.
They don’t even bat an eyelash when asked if they reveal to men they go on dates with that they’re celibate. If anything, these empowered gals feel that it helps them weed out the ones who are only in it for a night of pleasure.
“Typically, if I feel things are going down a path where I’m, like, ‘Oh, they might be expecting something from me,’ I just like to be straightforward and be like, ‘I’m not having sex with you,’” Caputo proudly said.
“And I literally say it so bluntly. That kind of allows me to feel not only like I’m in charge and but also if they’re just looking for a quick hookup, then they don’t have to see me again.”
And dating coach Erika Ettin agrees with this no-nonsense approach.
“Unfortunately, I do believe there is a double standard, and, while men may hope that a woman will sleep with him sooner, he does often respect her more if she holds off until she truly feels ready, and is able to communicate that,” she told The Post.
“It’s also a good gauge of who just wants physical intimacy versus who wants to get to know someone as a person.”
To get a man’s perspective on this, sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist, Daniel Lebowitz, MA, LMFT, weighed in, telling The Post, “As a general rule, the idea of a ‘chase’ is not what really gets men going. It’s what’s behind the chase — someone who knows their own value and makes someone really show interest in them is indicating that who you are interacting with is picky, but is picking you.
“Men like to feel special or unique, and if he is the lucky one who gets into her bedroom, it is an indication that he is seen as worthy or valued.”
Although these women are still open to exploring romantic connections without the physical part, they’re making it a point to invest in themselves and their friendships.
“I have several friends who also became celibate. It’s just so giving to be in this tribe and water these friendships and relationships instead of wasting energy, money and time on some Tinder date,” Ema Skaumimaite, 28, a travel nurse who currently lives in Norway and is five months celibate, told The Post.
Aside from no longer stressing about whether a date is going to text her after spending the night with him — a complaint of many single women of today — Skaumimaite has experienced another unexpected perk of celibacy.
“I have learned so much about myself, about relationships, how it works, and how I feel about the whole thing. It’s really useful when I meet another person, [because] my intuition got stronger,” she explained.
“So every time I meet someone, I kind of immediately sense what their intentions are.”
