Happy spooky season, everyone!
Corporate commerce monsters would have you believe you’re nobody til somebody loves you…or is willing to support you as 1/2 of a couple’s costume, the Sandy to your Danny, the spaghetti to your meatball, the Ken to your Barbie and loofah to your bar of soap.
We here at The Post raise a paw in protest.
If you’re in the market for a lifetime of love and loyalty, then get yourself a fur baby — preferably a rescue and definitely the kind that will allow you to subject them to the indignity of a zodiac costume.
From pet costumes for large dogs to small, fun to frightening, we have you covered.
Here’s to the dogs we don’t deserve and the most wonderful time of the year. Read on to discover the best and cutest matching Halloween costumes for dog and owner. While you’re here, make sure to read our guide to the dog breed that aligns with your zodiac sign and the best costumes for your pets.
Barista and Frappuccino
Aries prefers life in the fast lane and their caffeine at high voltages.
Many astrologers place the holy coffee bean itself in the domain of red planet Mars, the ruling luminary of the ram. In kind, this costume delivers with a double shot of seriously f–king cute.
Find your pup’s coffee costume here.
IBS, impatience and quickly dispersing rage sold separately.
Beanie Baby and Beanie Boo
As the first earth sign in the zodiac, Taurus is very close to its inner animal and very into any Halloween costume that prioritizes comfort and warmth. This getup, essentially a plush comforter worn as a jumpsuit, understands the assignment. Adult onesies can be purchased here, and lion mane for dogs is available here.
Angel and devil
Symbolized by the trash-talking, god-defying twins Castor and Pollux, Gemini represents the fundamental duality present in all things and all people: good and bad, dark and light, bark and bite, horns and halo. Honor the divinity of these divides with a devil/angel duo costume.
Horns here, halo there.
Daenerys Targaryen and her dragon offspring
Ruled by the moon, Cancer represents the archetype of the mother, and never has there been a fiercer femme than the mother of dragons herself folks, HRH Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains.
Find the recipe for this regality with this no-sew DIY tutorial from Just a Tina Bit.
Pennywise and Georgie
Leo rules the fifth house of pleasure and play; colloquially known as the “fun house,” it is the natural domain of laughter, clowns, and other theatrics. Long on forehead, short on subtlety, and a perverter of play, Pennywise, as previously established is a card-carrying member of the lion pride.
Big cats and their small dogs can find raincoats here and Pennywise inspo here.
Pope/nun
All hail the holy hound. Rulers of the sixth house of daily service and devout believers in the adage that cleanliness is next to godliness, the filthy minds and spotless floors of the Virgo ilk will find costume glory in this papal pup and hot nun combination.
Pope outfit is available here, and nun habit can be found here.
Basic witches
Libra is ruled by Venus, and by default, the people of the scales are motivated by the beautiful and the palatable. This dedication to likability and ease sometimes translates to a bad case of the basic b–ch.
Whether you’re costuming ironically or because it is your daily uniform (#PumpkinSpice4Life) the basic witch bestie set is for you.
Designer dog not required but highly recommended.
Wednesday and Pugsley Addams
As previously established, Wednesday Addams, with her preference for the esoteric and searing side eye is a quintessential Scorpio.
As the sign of ultimate power and ulterior motives, every straight-faced protagonist needs an accomplice. In this costume, a canine Pugsley (pedigree not required) provides the perfect compliment to this pigtailed powerhouse.
Find the Pugsley pullover for your pup here.
Where’s Waldo?
Sagittarius is the sign of the seeker, and this Where’s Waldo dog/human getup compliments the free-wheeling, ever-roaming, and prone-to-ghosting spirit of the archer.
The glasses make you look smart and the dog suggests you’re more committal than previously believed possible, a win-win. A similar costume can be found here.
Cop and bad dog
Capricorn is ruled by stern Saturn, the planet of restrictions, straight lines and hard knocks. This overlord lends natives a real daddy/warden/corrections officer energy.
Sea goats can vibe with their sign and indulge their love for uniforms in this canine couple’s costume. Find the prison stripes for your pup here and the cop costume accessories for you here.
E.T. & Elliott
Aquarius is the sign of all that falls beyond: space travel, electricity, and extraterrestrials. Consequently, natives often feel apart from or not of the earth itself. Water bearers can honor their eccentricity and the dream of taking flight in this easy DIY costume that casts them as the kind kid Elliot and their dog as the heart-glowing, ball-tossing, planet-levitating, sentient being that is E.T.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the star
Mr. Stay Puft and Ghostbuster
Ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams and the unconscious mind, Pisces is the sign most closely related to psychic phenomena, ghosts, specters and nightmares. Fish folk can fight back by embodying the expansive paranormal monster that is Mr. Stay Puft and casting their canine as a fearless Ghostbuster. Who you gonna call?
Dog costume can be found here and the inflatable horror show for humans, here.
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. To book a reading, visit her website.
