Here comes Casper the unfriendly ghost.
Sadly in today’s dating world, getting ghosted — which is going on a few dates with someone and suddenly that person disappears without any explanation — is nothing new.
Luckily for all the hopeful single people out there, Karli Kucko, a sex and relationship therapist told the Daily Mail the main reason why so many people are either ghosting or getting ghosted by a potential suitor.
If you’ve swiped at least once on a dating app — you’re familiar with the endless options of eligible daters. However, that’s exactly what is causing people to give the silent treatment to someone after realizing they’re no longer into them.
Not every date will be a home run or a sign that wedding bells are right around the corner. Yet, instead of communicating that to someone — people would rather just disappear.
“Ghost someone tonight, swipe on someone new tomorrow,” Kucko said.
No one likes confrontation and digital dating has made it easy for people to stop responding to a person’s calls or texts when they lose interest — hoping they get the hint.
“Instead of communicating and connecting when differences arise, people often choose to end things and move on,” the relationship expert explained.
While ghosting is often frowned upon, Kuoko explained there is a time and place to stop seeing or responding to someone.
“Ghosting to avoid conflict can be a way to conserve energy — especially with strangers who aren’t demonstrating respectful communication,” Kucko said.
Keep in mind, there is a difference and before you delete that person’s number from your phone — the expert wants you to figure out your ghosting intentions.
“To differentiate between the two, I encourage reflection: Am I choosing not to respond because I’m honoring my values, or am I avoiding vulnerability because it’s uncomfortable?” she said.
Rejecting someone or getting rejected is never easy — and understandably most people would do anything to avoid it.
Yet, as the saying often goes — honesty is the best policy. “While that rejection may be difficult to swallow, I encourage transparency over avoidance,” explained Kuoko.
A survey by NumberBarn revealed that 75% of single people have been ghosted — and if you’re trying not to be a statistic, keep an eye out for a few signs that might indicate Casper the not-so-friendly-ghost is heading your way.
A telltale sign is when your date is suddenly vague about plans. If any text reading “I’ll double check my calendar” or “I’ll let you know when I’m free next” pops up on your phone — you better temper your expectations of that person.
Another sign is when words don’t match a person’s actions. Anyone can throw out a compliment — or even worse — love bomb you with all the positive words of affirmation you crave. But, if the person’s actions don’t align with what they’re saying — run for the hills.
Two other signs you might be getting ghosted is if they take forever to respond to your texts — showing a lack of interest. And if they cancel last minute on your plans with lame excuses, ghosting might be right around the corner.
