A newlywed says she waited more than 40 years to have sex for the first time on her wedding night — only to discover her hymen is so thick she is unable to do it.
Sarah Jones-Green, 44, was brought up in a Christian household and wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, out of respect for her beliefs.
She also saw intimacy as “something special” and didn’t want to lose her virginity to a one-night stand or casual fling.
In 2020, at the age of 40, she met her now-husband, Martin Green, 44, a marketer, on dating app Bumble — and married him on September 28, 2024.
On their wedding night, they attempted to have sex for the first time — but the new bride found it too painful.
She spoke to her general practitioner soon afterwards, who performed a physical examination and found Sarah has a condition called a microperforate hymen — a condition where the hymen is very thick but has a single, small opening.
Sarah is now on the waiting list for a hymenectomy — a surgical procedure to remove extra tissue from the hymen — and says being able to have sex would make her feel “complete.”
Sarah, a marketer, from London, said: “I’m a virgin bride — and I don’t want to be — having sex would make me feel like a ‘normal’ newlywed.
“I didn’t have any inkling about this condition before, I literally only realized something was wrong when Martin and I tried to have sex for the first time.
“I’d waited such a long time — I just wanted to experience what everyone else has.
“It’s frustrating, and I’ve been feeling really down about it.”
From a young age, Sarah says she knew her beliefs wouldn’t allow having sex before marriage — but she says it was a very personal decision.
She describes herself as a “modern woman” who doesn’t judge others for anything they choose to do — but she couldn’t see herself losing her virginity to a man she wasn’t married to.
“I find it something so special,” she said.
“I didn’t want to give myself to just anyone — someone I could eventually break up with or in a one-night stand.
“My mom, Pamela, also waited until marriage to have sex — and after she died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 72, I was even more determined to make her proud.”
Sarah’s longest relationship was with Martin — who she eventually married in September 2024 — and the pair spoke about sex before their first date.
Feeling anxious, Sarah told Martin she wanted to be transparent with him, and didn’t intend on having sex with anyone until marriage.
But her now-husband was “patient and kind” and was fine with waiting — while they dated for four years before their nuptuals.
“I waited four years to have sex with him,” Sarah said.
“Martin has been so caring the entire time — we had the discussion while we were still talking on Bumble and he was so sweet and fine with it.”
The couple’s first attempt at sex was on their wedding night and Sarah says she knew immediately it wasn’t going to work.
She felt an “aching” sensation when they tried to do it and the newlywed says the excitement quickly disappeared.
Sarah became upset and felt “abnormal” — and she wanted to get it sorted as quickly as possible so made an appointment with her doctor later in the week.
“I wanted to get it seen to straight away,” she said.
“We just couldn’t work out how to have sex without pain — Martin was fine, but I was really frustrated.
“I remembered my mum had the same issue on her wedding night, and wondered if her problem was hereditary.”
Sarah’s doctor began her assessment by asking questions about her symptoms and questioned whether the issue could be vaginismus — a psychosexual condition in which the vagina involuntarily tightens when penetration is attempted.
But the bride insisted her pain was purely physical — and didn’t feel like she had a mental block on losing her virginity.
After a physical examination, thedoctor discovered Sarah was suffering from a microperforate hymen.
This can make penetration very painful and Sarah’s doctor has placed her on a waiting list for a hymenectomy, but says she may not be seen until August.
Sarah said: “My hymen is unusually rigid, and people are born with it.
“The doctor offered me dilators — but they sounded too painful, so I’m going for surgery.
“I haven’t got my consultation until August — but a private procedure is looking to cost around $1,288.
“I’m really worried — I want to start a family as soon as possible.
“But I can’t, without the surgery.”
