Forget monsters under the bed — the real nightmare might be what your kid’s doing at the dinner table, on their phone or when they think no one’s watching.
Child psychologists are warning parents to stop brushing off some behaviors as just “kids being kids” — because these seemingly small habits could be flashing red flags.
Concerning behavior like loss of appetite, aggression and secret screen time might signal deeper distress — and need more than a timeout to fix, experts say.
“These emotional and behavioral concerns need to be addressed as soon as possible so they don’t intensify throughout the years,” Dr. Regine Muradian, a licensed clinical psychologist, told Parade in a recent interview.
Dr. Carla C. Allan, division chief of psychology at Phoenix Children’s, also told the outlet that caregivers should flag “consistent developmental delays, stagnation or regression in skills or abilities” with a pediatrician.
Another digital-age danger? When kids demand to go incognito online.
“If you recognize a child you care for attempts to or insists on exploring the internet unsupervised and/or in private, it is time that you engage in greater exploration of the foundation for their desire,” warned Dr. Brett Biller, psychologist and mental health director at Hackensack University Medical Center in the same interview.
Meanwhile, if your kid’s appetite has suddenly changed — don’t assume it’s a growth spurt or a picky phase.
“It can indicate problems such as distress, anxiety or an eating disorder,” Dr. Denitrea Vaughan, psychologist with Thriveworks, also revealed to the outlet.
Aggression, tantrums and violence are also major warning signs. “These negative behaviors, if not addressed, can bleed into their elementary and middle school years,” said Muradian.
Parents should also watch for foul language — especially in group chats.
“There is much more inappropriate language, including more ableist, racially insensitive and sexually charged comments,” Litvinov said.
Excessive nail-biting is another red flag to be on the lookout for — which is often a sign of anxiety.
But the problem isn’t always just with the kids.
The New York Post reported on a 2024 Ohio State University study that found that parental burnout is directly tied to children’s behavioral issues.
“We have high expectations for ourselves as parents,” said study author Kate Gawlik. “Then on the flipside, you’re comparing yourself to other people… and there’s a lot of judgment.”
Burned-out parents are more likely to yell, span or shame their kids — which only fuels the fire.
“When parents are burned out, they have more depression, anxiety and stress, but their children also do behaviorally and emotionally worse,” said Bernadette Melnyk, Ohio State’s VP for health.
Experts say to avoid panic and take things one habit at a time.
“Focus on one habit at a time to not overwhelm your child,” Vaughan said to Parade. “Also, motivate positive behaviors by utilizing positive reinforcements, such as praise/affirmations.”
And don’t be afraid to ask for help.
“Some habits and situations require more professional help,” said Vaughan. “Providers specializing in working with children and teens can help… through talk therapy [and] play therapy.”
