Before there was Michael Pollan and his “intentional eating” MasterClass, before there was “intermittent fasting” and the Wim Hof Method, there was Franz Xaver Mayr, the early-20th-century Austrian physician. His revolutionary Mayr Method was grounded in the belief that the secret to health and beauty starts in the gut. His cult-like following led to the opening of his own clinic, and, eventually, to Lanserhof, a wellness and longevity retreat at whose fourth outpost I presently find myself. Somehow by my own choosing.
Arriving to the remote German island of Sylt, considered by some to be the Teutonic version of the Hamptons, if the Hamptons had fewer beach clubs and more colonics, takes some effort. Which is, of course, the point. Guests must take a four-hour train ride across the Hindenburg causeway from Hamburg to arrive at the town of List, where, among the waves and heather, Lanserhof Sylt seems to levitate above the dunes. The whisper-quiet, thatch-roofed structure (the largest of its kind in Europe) designed by architect Christoph Ingenhoven offers no check-in desk, no custom scent, no chipper guide to assuage your fears of eating only 750 calories per day. This, too, is the point. At Lanserhof, escaping the pressures of the real world, tuning your senses to your body and your environment, is also part of the treatment.
I arrived from New York depleted — existentially tired in a way that no spa day or vacation could possibly resolve. Time had no meaning, I was exhausted, unfocused, unable to sleep. Relentless deadlines, continental moves, the news cycle… it was enough to throw me into a midlife spiral that, I decided, only a week away, alone, could heal. So, no, I hadn’t booked myself into Lanserhof to lose those few winter pounds (as one gentleman guest revealed) or to keep a chronic illness in check (as a sufferer of “leaky gut syndrome” told me). I was here to sleep without meds and to enlist in Lanserhof’s Longevity Program, one that would sustain my body on this mortal coil for as long as possible, in peak(ish) fitness. In other words, I was here for what Lanserhof promises at its core: a scientifically rigorous, medically monitored reset.
The clinic’s approach, the Lanserhof Cure, is rooted in what practitioners call “Medicine 3.0” — an evolution of preventive medicine that sees aging itself as a treatable condition. That translates to personalized diagnostics, one-on-one consultations and daily interventions calibrated to your own genes, cells and metabolism. It also means that a weeklong stay begins with a series of tests (blood panels, body composition scans, a fragility score assessment) and meetings with medical directors Jan Strizke and Christina Haeggberg, who walked me through my data with clinical candor. Turns out, my vitamin D was low. My calcium, borderline. My posture? Protective. My hips and knees and shoulder were subtly rotating to shield an overworked psoas muscle — a compensation I would never have known about if not for the wizarding osteopath who, in a single session, released my lower back and relieved a steady pain I’d endured for two decades.
If the diagnostics and physical therapies were hardcore, the protocols were equally so. I received an infusion of something yellow (Vitamin D?) during two CellGym sessions, designed to mimic altitude training and increase my mitochondrial health. I braved five stints in a cryo chamber chilled to -110°C, my breath slowing as the technician danced along with me outside the glass door to three-minute classics. (“Time Warp” seems to know no language barrier, and certainly speeds along the endless 180 seconds, as its title suggests.) My massage therapist insisted I was too tight for a conventional massage. “You need abyanga,” she said. “Something deeper.” No kidding.
Deeper was a theme. At Lanserhof Sylt, the body is treated as a system of interdependent parts, not a series of symptoms to manage. You have to get to the cellular level to manifest change. Nutrition was no exception. I met with the clinic’s quietly formidable dietitian, who analyzed not just what I ingest, but how. Her verdict: I wasn’t eating enough, and when I did, it was inconsistent. Worse, I wasn’t chewing properly — an offense here of almost spiritual magnitude. Dr. Mayr believed that each bite of food requires 30 to 40 chews, and, rather shamefully, Dr. Haeggberg had to teach me how to chew properly. “Digestion begins in the mouth,” she insisted. Other beads of wisdom: No talking while eating. No water for thirty minutes on either side of a meal. Nothing but tea after supper, which should end by 7:30 pm. To ensure my colon was cleared by week’s end, every day began with a swig of Epsom salts. Thank goodness I sat alone, not complaining to my table neighbors at lunch. Instead, each meal forced me to reflect on my choices, on the wind, on my relationship to food and people. Sparse but elegant, meals consisted of a dainty serving of coconut yogurt, a small plate of spelt pasta with vegan Bolognese, smoothies presented in bowls with tiny spoons. By day four, my headache and my hunger faded. My appetite recalibrated. I began to taste food again — not just consume it. It’s amazing what 40 chews can do.
Not everything was about food or fascia. I spent quality time with Heide, a therapist who gently suggested I schedule a daily “worry window” to contain my anxiety around falling asleep. (Good sleep hygiene is critical to longevity.) Her sleep retraining strategy required me to lie in bed and observe my breath for 30 minutes, then get up and read in another room. It felt punitive at first, leaving my nerves threadbare and my body tired. But by Wednesday, my brain had learned how to self-soothe, how to surrender. Months later, I remain Ambien-free.
Other than running on treadmills strapped to some tubes or sitting in on lectures about gut health or group yoga sessions, there’s little to do at Lanserhof Sylt. At least, that was what I entered this journey thinking. Once my sleep and my hunger were regulated, I made myself available to nature. One day was marked by a lengthy bike ride into town. Another included a 10-mile run on the boardwalk, resisting the urge to buy a beer at a café. I read three books by the fireplace. (No electronics allowed!) One night, I sipped kombucha and watched the sky blush pink and gold as the sun melted into the sea through the glass wall, a scene so quietly introspective, it resided a world apart from offspring and deadlines. Conversations with my fellow guests — in the pool, on a morning walk, by that fireplace — were deeply personal and earnest. It was easy to forget that most of us had arrived here feeling broken, hoping “The Lanserhof Cure” would cure us all.
On my final morning, confident in my newfound “wellth,” I layered my coat over my swimsuit, stripped down, and marched into the North Sea. The sting of the salty 2°C water was instant. My extremities went numb, my core felt hot. For a full minute I fought the urge to run. Or to cry. And then, without fanfare, the pain passed. I emerged euphoric, unreasonably proud of my silly, self-imposed achievement. I can do hard things! Even sleep without meds. Even chew a bite of spelt bread 40 times. Maybe I can even live in health forever.
8-night Lanserhof Classic Plus from €4,046, not including accommodation. Rooms from €649 per night; Lanserhof
